As I'm sure the author now realizes: truly elite skill among those working in the trades is in wildly high demand as compared to what someone might expect coming from the software industry.

If just 1% of all software developers are writing near-flawless code to spec, that's still about 287,000 people in the world. They're relatively accessible and the chances of you being able to work with one on a short timetable is actually pretty high.

By comparison: GC's, architects, builders at that level are far, far more rare by the numbers + highly localized + are usually mired in many years-long projects simultaneously. They do not need your business, are paid whatever price they ask, and are usually booked far in advance.

Even so! If you even get the hint that someone in that situation is willing to work with you it will save you far more time and money to wait for that person than to try going with someone available that you feel alright about. If they're readily available, it's because they are not in demand. Think about why that might be. If you can afford to, waiting for the person you actually want to work with is the better option every. single. time.

I realize this is a little mean, but if you fashion yourself "competent" in white-collar things it has no or negative relation to a building project, at least in the US (I realize trade culture is different around the world). You need to be a bulldog, and a competent and skilled one in all manor of things, to drive a project like this. Otherwise, that is what you are paying the general contractor to do, and that is the most important person on your job - beyond the architect, and especially vanity consultants. This person made a huge mistake in not being 100% comfortable with their builder before embarking.

Most of this heartache could be avoided with two principles in my opinion: 1) do the harder thing (i.e. pour concrete), 2) build as close to commercial code as you can afford (i.e. find a commercial builder if you are chasing specs like this, a mechanical company to do this vanity HVAC work, etc).

Would love to do a project like this. Unfortunately not viable in city Centers

> I’ve never seen such incompetence in the tech industry, so perhaps that’s why I was so naive.

I get the sense that real estate in general is an extraordinarily mixed bag with far larger deviations than I’m used. Currently trying to buy a home and some of the solicitors that supposedly do this for a living come across like it’s their first time communicating with a client

I run electrical work for a living, I could easily GC my own house build. I’d still pay an architect and a general contractor if I was going to have one built.

Also, the incompetence the author experienced is because virtually all of the skilled and smart tradespeople are doing commercial work, or they’re booked a year out.

My family undertook a major renovation where we basically took down everything above the foundation and started from scratch. I went down many of the exact same rabbit holes as the OP and the results ended up being very similar. My takeaway was that the majority of the people working in the home building trades are very closed-minded and are terrified of doing anything that veers too far from the way homes have been build in the US since the middle of the 19th century.

> I’ve never seen such incompetence in the tech industry, so perhaps that’s why I was so naive.

How

This is very nice! I love passive houses, although much of the advice is for the US, not for Europe.

Something really nice I saw recently at a friend's house in Amsterdam, it's a Qettle, a faucet which is able to dispense boiling water instantly! Fully electric, using induction. And I was thinking about this recently, because where I live in Portugal, for the shower and the kitchen's faucet, share a boiler, which it's in the kitchen. If the faucet didn't need it, the heating could be way closer to the shower, making my shower hotter!

This seems like hell (and a control freaks dream).

To be responsible for the design and look of an entire house… I can’t imagine anything more stressful. Especially while having to balance it with a budget

> For final grading I saw the excavator trucking out what looked like native soil and trucking in rocky soil.

They sell the topsoil and replace it with cheap (rocky) fill. Every. Time.

Use structural insulated panels or insulated concrete forms. Both are vastly superior to stick framing.

I'm not sure why americans are apparently allergic to stucco vs expensive siding - it's just much better product and imho better look and no concerns with seams etc

Is it possible to get a commercial builder to build residence? Standards seem much higher in commercial construction.