Tesla Balance Bike

19 pointsposted 9 hours ago
by surprisetalk

63 Comments

giamma

5 hours ago

This is a balance bike meant to attract the dads who are fans of the brand rather than a balance bike meant to be good for kids.

First the handlebar is too large for small hands and comes with no grips, second the top tube is too wide to be comfortable between the legs and the whole frame is just edges.

If you want a good balance bike look for brands like prevelo [0] or woom [1] who have been designing kid bikes for years.

[0] https://prevelo.com/products/alpha-zero

[1] https://woom.com/en_INT/balance-bikes/self-balancing-bike/wo...

postepowanieadm

4 hours ago

Woom is the best - not only when it comes to balance bikes, but also real bikes. As they really are bikes. Other, even serious, brands make kids' bikes that are just too heavy. Also, Woom keeps it's re-selling value very well, much better than anything what Tesla makes.

actionfromafar

4 hours ago

Tesla makes the most exquisitely hyped stock available on the market.

bko

3 hours ago

Am I just out of the loop but is $200+ for a children's bike absolutely insane?

rationalist

3 hours ago

Another HN user suggested a bike that costs $650, almost three times what the Tesla bike costs. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49003333

So no, I would not consider $225 "completely insane".

Disclaimer: I have no ties with, financial interest in, or own any products of Tesla.

yiiii

3 hours ago

The suggested bike is a "real" bike, not just a balance bike.

seanalltogether

3 hours ago

We bought our kid a balance bike for £45, there is no need to go much above that price.

JKCalhoun

2 hours ago

It is. Similar bikes are $40 on Amazon.

JR1427

5 hours ago

Just buy your kid a good quality pedal bike [0], and take the pedals off.

That way they can learn to use the brakes, and when you put the pedals on, they will quickly learn to cycle it. Took my daughter an afternoon.

[0] e.g. https://us.earlyrider.com/products/belter-14-kids-bike-age-3...

throwworhtthrow

an hour ago

I'm glad this worked for your family, but in my kids' experience this is too heavy to use as balance bike. By the time they were comfortable hoisting their de-pedaled 12" / 5.4kg bike off the ground, they'd nearly outgrown it. They preferred a cheap hand-me-down balance bike which was half the weight (the upscale ones with brakes and pneumatic tires are self-defeatingly heavier).

bravetraveler

3 hours ago

Worked for me, thanks for the fond memory

throwaw12

4 hours ago

4T valuation is incoming.

there are currently 600M kids between 0-4 ages. Imagine each paying $100 for this bike, we are talking about $60B revenue. On top of that Tesla is planning to sell accessories and subscription to these bikes, which will grow their revenue by another $120B

We haven't even started talking about how experience with these bikes will shape these kids and eventually they will buy Tesla in the future when they grow up (we are talking about another $50T market cap addition over 30 years, around 125M new customers every year)

IANAL, P&L, this is not a financial advice: Invest now before its too late

/sarcasm

Cthulhu_

3 hours ago

I called my wife's boyfriend and told him he needs to get on board NOW. There'll be a huge run on it once they announce the Boring Company Flamethrower Mount add-on.

rich_sasha

4 hours ago

It's $225 per bike so revenue of $135b. Moar valuation!

jaggs

3 hours ago

Don't forget the potential for bike parking in space bays. So much more eco than earth bound parking.

throwaw12

3 hours ago

so many good ideas in this thread, Elon should hire us

misja111

3 hours ago

I expect the TSLA stock to jump another 20% based on this

throwaw12

3 hours ago

do you mean based on my message alone?

alpineman

4 hours ago

Warning: the bike may start to unexpectedly veer to the Far Right

surgical_fire

3 hours ago

Comes in 4 different themes for your little one:

- Starship

- Dinosaur

- Princess

- Schutzstaffel

Yizahi

an hour ago

Aren't so called "balance bikes" very dumb and also mildly harmful for kids? Why not just buy a proper bike with sidewheels, and after a few weeks just drop them and kid will learn to ride bicycles properly now? Instead of both not learning anything and endangering pedestrians and himself on the "balance bike"?

senordevnyc

an hour ago

Eh, my daughter had one when she was 2-3, before she would have been able to ride a pedal bike, and it was definitely helpful for her learning. She had training wheels on her next bike for a day or two and then we took them off and she rode without issue.

We also lived in an apartment and a tiny balance bike was a lot less disruptive than a pedal bike with training wheels.

saaaaaam

3 hours ago

Ugh. All you haters have no vision. Pretty sure you have missed the non-GAAP upside of this bike where the PRS of this cohort of ELSCs is booked and multiplied forward as ICFRS which means each bike sale is worth a future two cars, a cybertruck, a power wall, a personal levitation suit, and the revenue contributed from the children’s children’s indentured servitude in the mines of Mars.

[0] Potentialized Recurring Spend [1] Early life-stage customers [2] Infinitely Continuing Future Revenue Streams

throw03172019

8 hours ago

Can’t wait to see these with “F Elon” stickers in San Francisco.

SwellJoe

6 hours ago

Every bike is a balance bike. That's how bikes work.

sajithdilshan

4 hours ago

Maybe I'm too stupid to understand, but how do you ride it? is it electrical? If so what's the maximum speed? or is it just those toy bikes where the kids need to push forward with their feet? if that's the case why on earth is it 225$?

eloisant

4 hours ago

I think it's "just" a regular balance bike that you push with your feet, although I wouldn't dismiss that kind of bike as a "toy". It's actually the best way to learn to use a bike for kids, much better than trainer wheels.

dewey

4 hours ago

That’s not an uncommon price point for these kind of bikes aiming for that market segment (Woom).

foco_tubi

5 hours ago

technically this is a hobby-horse, not a bike

cromulent

4 hours ago

A dandy-horse, or a velocipede.

ErroneousBosh

4 hours ago

I feel like most of us could knock this up out of ply with a handsaw and a drill, and 3D print some covers to go over it, in about an afternoon.

Or, you know, spend a tenner on a used one off Facebook Marketplace and a fiver on a tin of spray paint to make it all cool and custom.

alterom

6 hours ago

....Why?!

Cthulhu_

3 hours ago

Because they failed to get any other working new products to the market. Tesla semi? new roadster? Updates to their existing models? Tunnels? All announced years ago, nothing released.

Cybertruck is the only released new product that made some waves, and it failed, did not meet sales targets, definitely does not meet any requirements for a truck. Less than 100K sold, 20% of which to Musk's own companies (https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2026-05-05/how-many-c...).

Ekaros

4 hours ago

They don't even have dealers that could throw this stuff in instead of real discount...

alterom

6 hours ago

Seriously though.

Musk promises self-driving cars, hyperloops, tunnels, and what they actually deliver is... a †balance bike*?!

Satire is dead, because I can't imagine a worse self-own.

crote

5 hours ago

Same reason the Musk Corporate Universe does everything else: because Elon woke up and thought it would be cool.

Cthulhu_

3 hours ago

Which would be fine I think if the company was otherwise successful. But the only thing preventing its complete downfall at this point is the high import taxes on the Chinese EV competition, and the only reason for said high import taxes is market protection.

But while Europe and the US desperately try to protect their own markets, the rest of the world - you know, the other 7.5 billion people - is a potential customer.

mDyJzDPmBdG

4 hours ago

I mean at least it is transportation adjacent. Tesla flamethrower on other hand ...

CamelCaseName

6 hours ago

This is pretty cool, but seems like a massive waste of time for Tesla.

elil17

4 hours ago

It is completely in-line with their strategy to become a lifestyle brand for tech-savvy conservatives: https://shop.tesla.com/category/lifestyle

(That's pretty normal for a car company - many car brands have a lifestyle department).

ErroneousBosh

4 hours ago

I was just thinking, I'm surprised they haven't started making ludicrously expensive road bikes with like 9-spoke wheels and oval carbon-fibre frame tubes, and not just bluetooth gears but brakes too because it saves a gram off the frame weight.

The overlap between Tesla arseholes and roadie arseholes is probably considerable.

No, Preston, the yellow lambswool jumper that cost as much as a second-hand Fiat is not making you faster. Take it off, you look like a tit.

elil17

3 hours ago

I view roadies as prototypically moderate/liberal - I don't know anyone who owns a Tesla and bikes

ErroneousBosh

2 hours ago

All the roadies round here are at best Lib Dem and often Reform or Alba types.

There's a guy in my town who makes a point of deliberately riding his bike *at* cars to prove some sort of a point about how dangerous cars are for bikes, because they should be able to stop if he swerves into oncoming traffic with a metre clearance. Same guy is also vehemently opposed to spending "his" taxes on sports grounds, playgrounds, or improving walking and cycling infrastructure because everyone should be riding racing bikes on the road.

One day he's going to get a physics lesson he'll remember for the rest of his life.

Ekaros

3 hours ago

They really should go and buy out Reevo. Or rebrand their bikes. E-Bikes with perfect futuristic design (almost non-functional). Would be right up their alley.

ErroneousBosh

2 hours ago

I would love a Reevo, they're so shit :-D

But then I would also import a Pontiac Aztek and park it beside a Fiat Multipla.

It's almost like replacing one pair of small low-friction bearings with 40 or so of them is a bad idea.

user

an hour ago

[deleted]

epolanski

5 hours ago

It's between odd and creepy, not sure where the cool is.

LewisVerstappen

5 hours ago

If your reaction to this is that it’s odd/creepy, that says more about you than it does the bike.

da-x

6 hours ago

How about for grownups? Those old ICE motorcycles are still making city centers noisy and it would be nice to start phasing them out with electric.

eloisant

3 hours ago

There are plenty of electric motorbikes already, problem is those guys WANT it to be noisy.

aa-jv

3 hours ago

Electric motorbike rider here. I had to tape a whistle to my helmet to prevent ignorant pedestrians from stepping right in front of me ..

epolanski

5 hours ago

This isn't electric, it's a balance bike for kids you push it with your feet.

In any case there's endless electric bikes on shops.