You don’t have to be poly to bring “relationship anarchy” to your current relationships.

> Classic new relationship energy. It’s such a wonderful feeling. On top of the world. Everything in life glows. But NRE runs out.

The word for this is "infatuation", and it is well-studied.

Have you read TFA? I think you're reading 'all-encompassing' too literally and make it seem that the author has his girlfriend substitute friends, colleagues and they're in some 'total life overlap' mode. But if you read it through, he's presenting how they're just sharing emotions openly with one another and letting each other 'in' on what they're up to from time to time.

For example:

"even if they don't have the background or experience that you do, and vice versa, you can both be patient with each other and spend loving time in harmonious movement."

"She showed me her spotify playlist (it was so cool, nothing i'd heard before) and I should her my claude coded landing page. "

Also, if this was already in the article before you posted your comment, I'd say it's simply moot: "Some might say this is unhealthy or codependent or some stupid diagnosis without analyzing any symptoms. Let me explain the symptoms. It starts where most relationships buckle under stress"

This is young love, puppy love. People at such stage of a relationship find everything facinating. I think there is a hormone that makes them forget or not care how gushy and idiotic such things appear to outsiders. Give it a year and the author will quietly delete the article.

This is a recipe for perhaps the most unhappy society imaginable. Without such outmoded ideas as 'commitment', and 'through thick and thin' relationships become subject to the immediate barometer of personal happiness. In practice this is anything but equitable, freeing and fulfilling. It results in people with perceived high 'value' flitting from relationship to relationship, often several at once. Invariably leaving relationships and abandoning partners when the ordinary vicissitudes of life arise - job loss, ill health, aging, deaths of parents etc.

Real intimacy requires investment. Relationship anarchy, any time I've seen it attested or practiced, faciliates the opposite. It's a fetishisation of alienation. What you're describing as 'pressure of expectations' can be understood very differently, as the expectation of reciprocity. In other words, being able to rely on people - whether as friends or lovers, when things get difficult. Without that, all we have is limerence and capriciousness.

I say all this as someone who's been in non-monogamous relationships of various kinds - from weeks to years. Without the possibility of commitment and the acknowledgement that all relationships are inherently hierarchical, we atomise individual needs and make real enduring connection and community impossible.

How do you address jealousy? Im very much on board with the idea in general, and have given it quite a bit of thought, but I’ve never been fully sold on the idea that jealousy is fully based on social constructs

That’s just anarchism

https://davidgraeber.org/articles/are-you-an-anarchist-the-a...

"Duuude free love lmao"; no need to put psychobabble words on it, you know.

I wish I could tell.

I wonder if Local LLM spotify playlist suggestions hang together less well than frontier model spotify playlist suggestions. Like… Gavin Bryars yes, Cloud Cult yes, Tuxedomoon yes, Run DMC wait what?, Olivia Sellerio yes….

Relationships change, over time. We need to change, and adapt.

When we're young, things are quite different, from when we get older.

Lot of "not-easy" stuff, involved in long, committed relationships.

Been married for over 30 years. Lots of rough spots, along the way.

We're doing OK, nowadays.

I remember that a bunch of siblings were criticizing their parent's relationship.

In fact, their parents were married for decades, and truly did the "Until death do you part" thing.

There was definitely some dysfunctionality, there, but they stuck out some really difficult times.

I have also seen relationships that were "the match made in heaven," fall apart, fairly quickly (in one case, a couple of weeks after a big wedding).

It's always easy to find fault with people that we can't relate to, or give advice that works for us, but won't, for them.

Yeah, I had the same thought, even as someone who also loved Ayn Rand at the age of 14.