Why Marriage, for So Many, Is Less Appealing

3 pointsposted 12 hours ago
by mooreds
(nytimes.com)

7 Comments

jleyank

11 hours ago

When the aches, pains and symptoms of growing old appear, you’ll appreciate having somebody to share the load with. This doesn’t have to be a spouse or a life partner, but having a strong friend or two, or a strong roommate relationship will greatly help things out. You can go your own way together as it were, helping each other over the bumps but not restricting their choices.

SilverElfin

10 hours ago

I agree. But I don’t think friends can be a substitute. Most friendships disappear with time, as life goes through different phases. And when you have difficulties especially, friends quickly disappear. Family is different and is more likely to support you when you need it.

jleyank

10 hours ago

That’s why I mentioned roommates. People can share the cost of housing and the rest and be there when needed. But it lacks the full attributes of marriage (good and bad). There are things that really need somebody to help out with and as as you say, there has to be some commitment to be there. Can’t always go where the family is and it might not have the closeness you’d like.

user

11 hours ago

[deleted]

balderdash

9 hours ago

I feel like one solution would be a streamlined divorce process - at least for people married less than like x years with no kids.

SilverElfin

11 hours ago

I think a big part of it is not just the economy in general or the cost of raising children, but the complexity and costs of separating if it doesn’t work out. Things like alimony and child support and division of assets can be intimidating, and are very often unfair, especially towards men.