Bonjour monsieur, je voudrais une eclair chocolate s'il vous plait is my number one French phrase. I can usually sell it. Maybe you needed the prefixes?

Did you ever get your croissant in that shop?

Compared to Australia where the government attempts to plan and control every aspect of commercial business, Japan's laws are a real breath of fresh air. Melbourne's had laws so strict that they've done a bang up job of ruining the local live music scene. Minimum numbers of bouncers, licenses that don't extend past midnight. Our big dance parties have been shifting the start times earlier and earlier because of absurd curfews. Some bars have been grandfathered in because they had licenses before all this started but it's impossible to obtain new ones. Unless of course you are the casino in which case citizens can spend the weekly food money on slot machines at whatever hour of the day they choose.

In Japan I was in a city during a local jazz festival. Entire streets shut down, bars with stalls set up on the street selling drinks. Kids intermingled in the alcohol drinking area and you know what? People behaved themselves and had a great time.

Australia, lacking any real problems to solve is like a modern immune system attacking the host because it can't find the invaders it should be taking care of.

Happen to have that article? Sounds like a good read.

Yeah as a neurodivergent person I'm super bad with etiquette :) I could never attend a formal dinner in a western country either. So these things are super stressful and my colleague made things much worse.

> as long as you’re putting forth even a little effort to follow etiquette and you’re not causing problems for others or making a nuisance of yourself, nobody pays you any mind regardless of orientation

A bit like Glasgow then.

JP Resident, and LGBT.

The vast majority of the "rules" apply only in extreme business situations, generally in the oldest Japanese companies.

Outside of that, the Japanese are extremely forgiving of those that are visiting not following _every single custom_. There's an understanding that so long as you're not disrupting the peace (being super loud, making a mess, etc) then a level of tolerance is applied.

LGBT is much of the same way where, your personal feelings and decisions don't impact everyone else, and thus it's not their business to decide what you can/can't do.

Once you're living here, there's some expectation that you start learning and participating in customs and traditions, but even that's extremely flexible.

While there is no national civil union law, and it would of course be great if there were, enough prefectures and municipalities have implemented civil unions such that >90% of people live in areas covered by them, so the legal status quo isn't horrendous.

> Something so small and unimportant. Still very far away from civil unions for non-hetero couples.

Your framing of this issue is a bit misleading. You suppose that this name change issue is a prerequisite step for support for civil unions because in your perception it is more trivial. But actually, support for same-sex marriage is more popular than support for different surnames in marriage. Although even then, a supermajority also support different surnames, and even a majority of LDP supporters support both too.

I mean, lower courts don't mean a lot in the grand scheme of things, for better or worse. It seems clear that the lower courts are trying to legislate from the bench in service of a moral good. The constitution is extremely unambiguous about this:

  第二十四条

  婚姻は、両性の合意のみに基いて成立し、夫婦が同等の権利を有することを基本として、相互の協力により、維持されなければならない。

I can't find the article, but I read an article about the experience of an LGBTQ Californian that moved to Tokyo found it more friendly than US (including progressive state).

The point was that in US LGBTQ is politicized. If you tell people about it, you have to either defend it (vs conservatives) or explain it (vs progressives, but with encouragement). Both got very exhausting fast for the person, even the well intentioned ones.

In Japan, the general reaction from coworkers to landlords was へー, そうなんだ。 (oh ok, cool.) no follow up questions or prodding.

Vast majority don't care enough about your private sexual preferences. (goodness sake people it's the country of Hentai, people there really don't fucking care about your private presences) They do, however, care when you politicize it (making it their issue)

The trend is slow but good looking for LGBTQ right in Japan. It won't move forward like people expect in the west. I'd guess one or two more generations. The only risk factor I see is the west. The polarization and politization of the issue, seen from Japan, is making the conservative wings more cautious about the topic.

Either case, Shinjuku 2chome will be a very welcoming place. My gay friend from Sweden love that place more than any supposed to be gay friendly place in Europe

I don't particularly agree with claims that Japan is more socially conservative by most metrics, because they are made by Westerners who frame conservatism relative entirely to their own worldview, a worldview which is not particularly informed about the reality of Japan given that Western media constantly reports falsehoods for clicks. But that's not really here nor there.

The subject matter is LGBTQ acceptance specifically. The point about Abrahamic religion is that it creates a culture of extremely open and aggressive hostility towards LGBTQ people. Hatred becomes part of people's foundational beliefs because they believe that is what God demands of them, and they cannot be reasoned with to reach a mutual understanding. While you could cherrypick "relevant metrics" like specific legal rights to rate Western countries as "more progressive", the actual populations are less accepting, in other words your social rights are lesser and you are more likely to face severe discrimination and violence. Those legal rights are also in an extremely fragile state because there are conservative movements to strip those rights. In Japan, indifference is far more common than hatred, and political movements are not polarized around things like "wokeness" or "social justice". Takaichi, widely reported in Western media as ushering in a new era of Japanese hard-right conservatism, has a pretty moderate stance that is analogous to Obama circa 2008; she does not support same-sex marriage, but is not actively antagonistic or hateful towards LGBTQ people.

I would sum it up as this: LGBTQ life in Japan is peaceful. Legal rights could stand to be improved, but there is no fight to constantly justify your own existence, and you are allowed to live without facing significant social prejudice. Most people are accepting, and those that aren't mostly just don't care. There are large supportive communities and extensive cultural representation in media, too. I, personally, would never trade this status quo for that of the US or UK in a million years.

Not a local, but in my experience this is due to tourists not being able to speak Japanese, which makes the people working in a place very uncomfortable ("will this person follow the rules? How can I do proper service if I can't communicate?"). A 大丈夫、少し日本語をしゃべります (it's ok, I speak a bit of japanese) has been enough to open the doors for me.

That being said, they do have issues with some nationalities. For example, the average American is way too loud for the average japanese place. Even if they think they are being polite, they just talk too loud and too much for japanese sensibilities.

Oh definitely. I mean, my neighbourhood has a bar that doesn’t even allow people who don’t live in the area as well. I guess, the gay bars not allowing foreigners is for a different reason, but soft discrimination is very ubiquitous. On the bright side, there are hundreds of thousands of other establishments that will happily take your money.

I don't know where you want to draw the line but imo they get pretty close to complete meals (https://foodie.sysco.com/) especially when it comes to desserts and appetizers.

The desserts are where I can tell the most since one restaurants lava cake is often dangerously close to every other mid tier restaurant.

So you're just bragging now? Do you even have a point? Cool that you make so much, but for most people in most of the world, $100k is a lot.

> I don't think the average person could handle the risk, difficulty of labor, and knowledge to run a successful restaurant that makes 100k/yr.

Margins are so low in restaurants in North America because of absurd regulations, zoning, rent, etc... Literally 90% of the costs are bullshit.

That's why it's difficult. You need a ton of revenue to deal with the bullshit, which means large upfront investment, staff, expensive rent, etc... You're doing more than most CEOs. Take away all the bullshit and it's a pretty straightforward business that anyone can do: you sell food and drinks.

In Japan or much of the EU, to make $100k you really only need to sell $150-200k. No staff, tiny footprint, minimal regulations, cheap rent or you own it. That's how restaurants can survive there with like 10 guests per night.

> I'm Japanese and I understand this issue perfectly and you don't.

Um, I'm calling shenanigans on this one. You have a viewpoint that seems more like negatively-biased indirect knowledge of this part of Japanese culture.

Were you born in Japan?

Have you lived there as an adult?

Have you frequented スナック and other types of hostess bars? If so, how did you discover them and with whom?

If you’re older, how has the スナック scene changed over your lifetime?

Comparing snack bars to hostess bars in the exploitive industry sense is pretty funny but you do you.