I moved up to a team lead and then decided to shrink back down for a lot of the reasons mentioned. While the team was successful, and practically ran itself with all the system I put in place, the weight of it never went away and I didn't like it. The job also became a lot more about politics, which I had no interest in. I sometimes wonder if I should have stuck it out to see if I got over the hump and hit some kind of stride, but there were so many people I talked to who regretted their moves into management, that I suppose it's good I stepped back when I did.

One of the harder parts for me was giving feedback. Certain people craved it, but I didn't want to seem like I was nitpicking or making them afraid to come to me, so I let stuff slide that I would have fixed if it was me doing the work. This kind of stuff was easier when I was just part of the team. I'd nitpick our presentations, mentioning things were a single pixel out of alignment. Eventually other people started noticing and calling out this little issues as well, which was good. But I felt less comfortable doing that in a leadership position, because I'd sound like a nagging boss instead of someone who just wants to make sure we're presenting ourselves well. I struggled internally with this a lot. It was probably ultimately what broke me.

"Sitting at this position makes me realise that most processes run on experiments and are as trial and error as it gets."

The worst part is that everyone expects your confidence.