Yes, Americans don't historically usually drink amaros or bitters. Amaros seem to be gaining in popularity though, perhaps the malort resurgence is part of that trend.
Right, it's a herbal bitter, not citrus like campari. And not an especially sweet one.
I am not good at remembering brand names there are so many. One I enjoy that comes in tiny little bottles and does have a bit of a foothold in the USA is the digestif Underberg.
Sure, that whole category will be seen by some Americans who are not interested in bitter and digestifs as not particularly palatable. But still nothing special about Malort.
Wikipedia says "Malört is an American brand of bäsk liqueur, ", with bäsk being a Swedish wormwood-based thing. Googling for wormwood amaros finds a variety to try, if the wormwood bitters is what you're looking for. The good ones will taste a lot better (and be a lot more expensive) than Malort, because, right, Malort isn't especially great, it's true.
i had Malort for the first time only a few years ago. I was like, wait, this is it? OK, it's a not especially great example of the category, it's kind of mediocre, but I've drank plenty of the category and don't find it especially hard to drink.
But "a mediocre bitter digestif" is obviously not as good marketing as "the worst drink on the planet, drink it as a challenge and impress your friends".
I think Underberg is a good comp. The problem with Malort is not that its bitter or the flavor profile of it, its the _quality_ of the drink. Underberg is bitter but well made and it tells dramatically when drinking them side by side.
Amaro's generally speaking are _very_ popular in Chicago. When I first moved here and was more of an out at bars type of person it was _extremely_ common to drink Amaro, especially at the end of a work night. But you'd drink the amaro's you'd expect (Fernet especially). No one would choose Malort because it wasn't any cheaper than a good amaro and was just worse.
The story of Malort is the story of good marketing and pre-social media 'influencers' getting involved. The book mentioned in the article also covers the quirky story of the original Malort brand and its interesting if you like that sort of thing. But as a drink its just uninteresting.
Unicum might be another good comparable, that's actually good if you like that sort of thing?
You want something that I think really is so bad that I have trouble imagining it's not just a novelty challenge drink -- and yet I think it's not and some people really do like it -- while even sticking to Nordic region (they like some weird stuff)....
https://koskenkorva.com/en/koskenkorva-salmiakki
"Salty" licorice is a misnomer, there's nothing actually salty about it, the "salt" is ammonium chloride. It's vodka flavored with black licorice (I'm with you so far), and the taste of ammonia.
Oh yeah I'm not saying Malort is good. i find it mediocre. I feel like I've had worse (which I can't remember the name of because why). I enjoy em enough that if i was at a bar that only had Malort I'd drink it. (I don't like the menthol in Fernet Branca, although many do. Malort has no menthol flavor as I recall?)
But the marketing campaign, whether crowdsourced viral or intended, is that it's like this uniquely horrible thing.
If anyone is familiar with the category and enjoys it (certainly not everyone does), they won't find it particularly hard to drink or unusual. They will find it not very good, yes. Obviously that's not something you want to market.
As you say, it's not interesting. But "the worst drink you'll ever have" would of course be very interesting! It's not that Malort is great, it's that in fact it's not interesting at all, it's just a mediocre bitter digestif.
I think the Nordic countries' Aquavit is more like Malort than the Italian Amaros are.
Fun fact: The Nordics are so cold, to age their Aquavit in casks, some producers would load them up on ships and send them to the equator and back. Linie Aquavit still does this tradition.
Personally, Italian Amaros are much better than Aquavit or Malort though. Forget Fernet when there's Averna.
I don't think Aquavit is very similar to Malort at all. They lack the bitterness and extreme astringency. Aquavit is more like gin but with a different botanical lineup.
I thought it was pretty similar to Suze in bitterness, although I didn't try them side by side. It's about twice as strong, though. And neither is sweet enough to save you!
Have you tried Gammel Dansk?
I'm not sure. I was about to say yes but looking it up now probably what I had was arnbitter. I quit drinking over a decade ago too so I'm starting to get even more fuzzy on what I have and haven't tried.