I thought financial security would be more comforting. I didn't realize how much of it is performance... in a truly not meaningful way. Or how deep the fear of "going backwards" goes.

I bounce between these patterns:

    * I've nearly starved before, I don't need this
    * I really like not worrying about food, maybe I'll grin and dance

I don't think I've ever set a professional goal. The promotions and stuff are all controlled by other people and almost arbitrarily given out.

I didn't think I'd really like management, but I also didn't think I'd totally hate it. I liked helping to organize the team and put systems in place to make things run more smoothly. People also tended to look to me for direction. It was my team that pushed me to make the move to be their manager. I was absolutely miserable and it was all self-imposed. After a year I asked if we could re-org some things so I could go back to being an individual contributor. The team was pretty disappointed I was stepping down, which I guess means I did a good job, but mentally I just couldn't deal with trying to balance my own perfectionism with other people doing the work.

I always saw myself as an introvert, and anyone would say the same about me. I’ve worked remotely for the past 6 years, yet all friends and good memories are all from office times.

I am more social than I’d like to admit, yet I dread all meetings. I guess I’m looking for the water cooler experiences and for me, those just don’t work online.

I think we humans are not very good at guessing what would make us happy; you just need to try the real thing or as close as possible.